Milan vs. Inter Preview: An Afternoon in Hell

The Derby della Madonnina is always an intense match. This year, the story line is larger than life. After being top of the table for the entire season, Milan lost to Spezia last week, and Inter's defeat of Lazio put them one point ahead of us. With Conte's snakes having shamefully slithered out of both Europe and the Coppa Italia, Serie A is all they have left to fail in. With the fireworks on the pitch between Ibrahimovic and the player who chokes in the big matches still unresolved from the Coppa Italia match almost a month ago now, that gives even more emotion to this match. No one can ever truly predict a Derby match, but one thing is for certain: this one will be an afternoon in hell.

I hope Lukaku knows that Materazzi ended his Derby in the hospital.

So far this season, Conte served a ban for screaming at a ref and has flipped off and screamed at an opposition's management, amongst lesser crimes. Lukaku threatened to kill Ibrahimovic when he was taunted, and those are just the unresolved massive character issues. Lukaku scored the winning goal for the other team in the Europa League final last summer, then blocked a potentially European spot-saving goal from his teammate in Inter's last Champions League match this season. So even if they take three points from us in this match, they are still big fat losers.

That's not even thinking about the financial implosion and attempted sale of the club by Suning going on right now. Who knew that paying €12 million per year for a coach who can't even grow his own hair and buying him overpriced, lower-character players all of these years and still never quite winning wasn't a good business model? Only their financial failures are costing us our stadium project, so it's not even funny. 

One is a donkey, the other a god

Unfortunately for Milan, Conte had a very public feud with Eriksen all season that ended when the player came on and took the winning free kick for us in the Coppa Italia. Now that he is actually using one of his best players, Inter are choking less, hence the point ahead of us on the table. They beat Lazio 3-1 on Sunday, when Conte wrangled these Biscioni out onto the pitch: Handanovic; Skriniar, De Vrij, Bastoni; Hakimi, Barella, Brozovic, Eriksen, Perisic; Lukaku, Martinez. Because they only play once a week, like the youth teams, Conte only has one player in doubt for this match, Sensi. The fake hair is included in his overpriced salary.

Milan suffered a huge blow when Bennacer was injured again on Thursday, because we are still in Europe, like a real team. Mandzukic also picked up a muscle injury, as could easily be predicted. Brahim Diaz is also still out injured. I presume that Ibrahimovic will not be wearing his ponytail down this time, and after being rested and racially abused on Thursday, will be particularly motivated to score. Probably more than once. Gigio will also be playing his 200th match on Sunday, so will be extra motivated to keep a nice, tidy clean sheet. 

Hoping to see multiple images like this

After being outplayed by Spezia last week and with Red Star stealing a point at the death on Thursday, it is impossible to predict whether or not Milan will be able to outplay a bunch of lazy snakes who didn't play midweek. At least our coach is honest about his hair. But I do believe that this young team are ready to fight for their top spot back. Inter has had all the luck this week, including their Primavera winning their Derby midweek and a former Interista coaching Red Star to steal the draw on Thursday. Maybe it is foolish to think our luck will change now, but I hope our team at least give Inter an afternoon in hell.

This post inspired by barbecued snake meat – it tastes like chicken

Serie A Week 23
il Derby della Madonnina
Milan vs. Inter
Sunday, February 21 • 15:00 CET (9am EST)

Milan vs. Inter Preview: An Afternoon in Hell Milan vs. Inter Preview: An Afternoon in Hell Reviewed by Elaine on 3:35 AM Rating: 5
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