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Showing posts from October, 2013

Milan 1, Lazio 1: Fly Like the Eagles

Normally, when one hears the phrase “fly like the eagles,” it brings to mind soaring through the sky, being successful, and the like. But not today. These eagles have been flying pretty low. Then they got an injury list worthy of Milan, too. So they were more like crippled eagles. But hey, at least we’ve risen to the level of crippled eagles.

Milan vs. Lazio: Gamepost

Maybe eagles are not so bad after all

Milan-Lazio Preview: Gnarly Eagles

Okay, so I was like totally thinking about the game tomorrow, and I was like “Dude, what’s up with Lazio?" They were like totally trippin’, and then all of a sudden they’re like “Heyyy, now.” Yeah, like totally just in time for Milan. Thanks, Eagle dudes. It’s like a total buzzkill.

Parma 3, Milan 2: When Lightning Strikes

When lightning strikes, it is sudden, intense, and potentially fatal. If someone has seen lightning strike in person, they will usually take preventative measures to avoid being struck by lightning. That was not the case today, though. Despite an occurrence as rare as a lightning strike in the form of a goal by Matri, Milan let themselves be struck by lightning for a total of three goals, and a loss of three points.

Parma vs. Milan: Gamepost

Parma-Milan Preview: Nutella Revenge

They say revenge is sweet, and tomorrow, one team or the other will likely get a chance to taste it. Will it be Amauri, who, despite being a complete Matri (read: epic fail) at Juve, has since drawn blood against Milan at his subsequent clubs in the most painful of ways? Or will it be the legendary Mesbah, of Milan transfer abuse fame, who already has a goal in just one start and one sub this season? Or maybe will it be our favorite Nutella-loving ex, Cassano, who would like to repay our kindness when he nearly died by taking all three points tomorrow? Perhaps the revenge will belong to more than one person, like one or more of these players and also the former Milan player Donadoni, whom Milan have snubbed for a coaching position in favor of the tactically vapid Allegri. Or will the sweet revenge belong to Milan, despite the fact that our players could barely tie their own shoes for the first 8 weeks of the season?

Nightmare at Milan Lab

All of these injuries at Milan must really be getting to me, because I woke up the other day in a cold sweat, my heart pounding, and I couldn’t get this terrorized feeling out of my mind. It seems that I was apparently dreaming, and yet it all seemed so real, I’m still not sure exactly what happened….

Champions League – Milan 1, Barcelona 1: Contained

Like a nuclear meltdown or an oil spill, Barcelona wreaks havoc on their opponents and scores goals unchecked. They came into this match unbeaten this season in both the Champions League and La Liga. Meanwhile, Milan more resembled the delicate ecosystem at risk in such a disaster with our injuries and other problems. But with the surprising tactics of the much maligned Allegri and the contribution of every single player on the pitch, Milan were able to contain the Barca disaster and take home a very valuable point. Contained.

Podcast: On the Rocks

AC Milan vs. Barcelona Tuesday, October 22 • 20:45 CEST (2:45pm EDT) This match will be shown on Fox Sports 1 in the U.S. Check the comments for stream links ahead of the game
AC Milan Primavera vs. Barcelona Juvenil Tuesday, October 22 • 15:00 CEST (9:00am EDT) This match will be streamed live on milantime

Champions League - Milan-Barcelona: The Monster Under the Bed

Just like the fear that most children have of something horrible living under their bed, Milan have a monster that keeps coming back: we keep drawing Barcelona in the Champions League. And just like on a bad night, when the child imagines an even bigger, scarier monster, Tuesday’s matchup seems just that much more intimidating. Despite a morale boost of a win on Saturday, this team is hardly prepared to compete with the current Barcelona squad. But like it or not, face them we must. So brace yourself and say your prayers, because Tuesday we meet the monster under the bed.

Milan 1, Udinese 0: Sweet Victory

The writing was in the stars. Milan were crumbling faster than the Roman Empire. After only 8 points in 7 games in the league, an inexcusable draw vs. Ajax in the Champions League, losing to both Ligue 2 side Caen and our very own Primavera in friendlies just this week, the boys had been ordered into ritiro to try to regroup. A couple of more big injuries causing us to lose both Balotelli and then Abbiati last minute, and the prospect of facing any team seemed formidable. But with Kaka’s first match back at the San Siro since 2009 and Gabriel’s debut in goal, it was either going to go very, very poorly, or by some unknown magic, it would end well. So for all of those reasons and more, Birsa’s singular goal victory became that much more sweet. And the win would go a long way to restore the faith, hope, and dreams of Milan fans everywhere.

Milan vs. Udinese: Gamepost

I still want to believe in miracles...

Milan-Udinese Preview: No Expectations

It’s going to be Saturday. At the San Siro. Udinese are coming. Despite an initial stadium ban, there will be fans there after all because the ban was temporarily suspended until the FIGC tests the political implications of a full stadium ban for territorial discrimination. It will be a game. Or something, I don’t know. I seriously have no expectations.

One Year Later

With the announcement that the team is going into ritiro, or retreat, this week, it brought back some déjà vu. I distinctly remember this move of desperation being tried last year, too. And even though it didn’t work, here we are trying it again. Because why not?

The Golden Matris™

The Italian TV show Striscia la Notizia has their Tapiro d’Oro (golden tapir) award, and RAI Radio 2 has the Bidone d’Oro (golden trashcan) award. But until now, Milan Obsession did not have an award to exemplify the utter failings, the sheer inadequacy, the implosion of all capability whatsoever that we are currently witnessing at AC Milan. So it is with complete and total wrath and retribution that I present to you the newest measure for human failure in football: The Golden Matri™.

Milan Survival Guide 101

Milan is going nowhere fast. With epic fails from the management down to Matri, it can be tough when you bleed red and black. Tough, but not impossible. To help you get through this painful time when watching your beloved team actually physically hurts, we are bringing you this survival guide. After consulting a couple of Inter fans, whose job it is to hurt, even during success, we feel that the following tried and true methods will help ease the burden of being a Milanista during Year OneZeroWTF.

Alessandro Matri: Poacher or Poser?

I have written about poachers before. I never used to appreciate them, but Pippo Inzaghi made me a believer. Although the modern game more and more often calls for players like Zlatan Ibrahimovic or Mario Balotelli who can do it all, obviously there are fewer players who are as superbly talented in all areas of their game. And so when an all-around striker is not available, or maybe even sometimes when he is, I believe in poachers. The specialists who are responsible for only one thing: scoring. The go-to guy when a win is necessary. But is Alessandro Matri a poacher? Or is he just some false version of this dying breed? Or is he simply suffering from a manager and formation and squad who are not used to playing with a poacher?

Podcast: Mission Impossible

Milan fans everywhere are suffering in a way that is painfully unfamiliar. A lot of questions are being asked, a lot of fingers being pointed, and no one seems to be able to figure out exactly where things went wrong. So today we called in our Triple Threat fan squad of Pete, David, and Elaine to examine the Mission Impossible. In addition to searching for answers and sharing opinions about the state of Milan, we look ahead and try to predict what the future holds.

Juventus 3, Milan 2: Muntari’s Revenge

It just had to be him. Going to Juventus Stadium with a beleaguered squad and sinking morale, there was only one person who could make things right. And he did, twice. Unfortunately, he also emphasized another point: that Milan lack the quality, depth, and leadership to completely get the job done. So even if he scored a brace against the team that made him infamous, his revenge was just not enough.

Juventus vs. Milan: Gamepost

Will i Leoni sleep tonight?

Juventus-Milan Preview: Into Mordor

It is one thing to bleed red and black and always hope for the win. It is another to take a step back into reality and look at the current situation. Looking ahead to Sunday’s league match at Juventus stadium with the teams in their current form, a Milan win is certainly not impossible, but is very improbable. In fact, to use a quote from Gandalf, “There never was much hope, just a fool’s hope.”Of course, in the Lord of the Rings, that fool’s hope succeeded in the end. So maybe we can dream of a result as we go marching straight into Mordor.

The Colors of My Heart

Winning teams come and go, trophies are won or lost, but one thing never changes: the colors of my heart. Through successes and failures, I live and breathe for the red and black. The Milan crest is permanently burned into my soul, with the city flag and the red and black stripes above the year of the club’s birth. When Milan win, my heart burns with passion and pride. When things go badly, my heart burns with pain and sorrow. But one thing that never changes is my devotion to the colors, the colors of my heart.

Ajax 1, Milan 1: Negative Space

In art, the use of negative space is actually a positive thing. In football, not so much. Milan may as well have stayed on their bus tonight for the entire first half, with less than 30% possession and zero attempts at all, at least they could have listened to their iPods or something and been more productive. The second half saw some tiny signs of life. Like when I used to try to wake my brother from the dead in the morning. That actually may have gone better than this game.

Champions League – Ajax vs. AC Milan: Gamepost

Will they be cleaning our trophies or cleaning their pitch with us?