Sunday, August 31, 2014

Milan 3, Lazio 1: The Power of the Shirt


Berlusconi will tell you it’s because he came to both Milanello on Friday and to the San Siro tonight that Milan won this one. Galliani will tell you that it was his shrewd transfer moves that won the game. But Milan fans know that it was neither. There is only one thing that is truly different this year on this team, and that is the man sitting on the bench. Inzaghi knows about winning, but most of all, he knows about what it means to wear the Milan shirt. And that is something all of the players have reported that he has focused on first and foremost. While this was only one game, it was evident that instilling this simple value had a drastic effect on the mentality of this squad, especially after such a poor preseason. Which luckily also translated to 3 points to start the season. The power of the shirt.

Heroes for a day

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Milan-Lazio Preview: Persistent Eagle Problem


So Sunday we invite the Eagles to our house, something I don’t recommend you doing on a personal level, as they are quite large and may eat your pets or small children. But the San Siro is large enough, and if they had a pitch invader like Barcelona had last weekend, then the eagles might actually come in handy. Other than that, it’s hard to look at this game with much optimism, given that we haven’t yet received our CHAMPION STRIKER GIFT FROM THE PRESIDENT* as of this writing. (*no money back guarantee, you’ll take what His Majesty gives you, use of the word “champion” may apply to past performances or not at all, the only people expecting an actual champion are those who are over 70 years old and clearly delusional.)

Those eagles can certainly be dangerous

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Mercato Rant no. 653


Foresight. Planning. Direction. Budgeting. Transparency. Common sense. None of those things belong to Milan’s mercato nor its management anymore. After knowing for three months that their most talented player was planning to leave the club, they apparently did nothing to find a replacement. So management are just now calling everyone they know, running from club to club, begging to find another striker. While still searching for a winger and a midfielder, too. Because finding one or both of those any time before the last week of the transfer window is also not within their abilities. Meanwhile, ticket and jersey sales drop, fans turn to other clubs, and the rest of us are numb with pain… again.

"I have been irresponsible, so please help me"

Monday, August 25, 2014

Podcast: Don't Dream It's Over


A week that saw us lose our most talented player and then win the Trofeo TIM left Milan fans in a bit of shock and awe. With a mere seven days left in the mercato we are now at the mercy of Galliani and his ability to shake down other clubs for their players on loans and free transfers. But with another epic fail from management, the livers of Milan fans worldwide are suffering as if the season was well underway. And yet there is still a strange kind of anticipation as the season kicks off next week which makes our stomachs alternate between the nervous butterflies of the possibilities and the nausea of having been reamed once again by management. One thing is for sure, Balotelli has left Milanello, along with a lot of hopes and dreams.


Saturday, August 23, 2014

Silver Lining


For all of the turmoil and dark clouds covering Milan this week, winning a trophy was a bit of a silver lining amidst the storm. Granted, it was not a trophy that Galliani can count in his “most successful club in the world” obsession, since this tournament is not sanctioned by FIFA. And granted, it was won playing two 45 min. halves against a team that just got back from a long Asian tour, and the other team who just played a competitive match on Thursday in the Coppa Italia. So it’s more like the bright sale stickers they put on food at the grocery store that is about to expire. It got our attention but doesn’t mean it’s what you need. But after the week we’ve had, it was a welcome distraction.

Enjoy it, it's the last trophy we'll lift for a while 

Friday, August 22, 2014

Allegri Day


It’s finally here, the Trofeo TIM tournament, aptly named by Galliani as “Allegri Day,” since he has now coached all three of the participating teams. And just like Allegri, the tournament is short, makes no sense, and is in no way sanctioned by FIFA. Allegri does stand a one in three chance of earning himself some more bling, though, so look out for Gangstallegri™.

Still frightening

Thursday, August 21, 2014

My Love Affair with Mario Balotelli


This is a confessional. Maybe not the kind you were hoping for, but I’m sure you can find plenty of that kind elsewhere on the interwebs. This one is about my love for someone who is part mythical, part icon, part football, and yet 100% human. He changed my heart 180° when he came to Milan, and I will never forget him. I honestly don’t think there is another player on the planet like him, and his loss for me is being felt on so many levels. I have to face the facts, I am in love with Mario Balotelli. And now he’s walking out of my life.

Beast.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

In Search of the Perfect Relationship


Everyone wants to be loved. So finding that perfect relationship more than just feels that void, it completes you. Like when I found Milan. I knew that my life would never be the same, and that made me so happy. So even when my perfect relationship became abusive, like any good enabler, I stuck with it, trying to make it work. Because Milan has truly become the colors of my heart, so win or lose, I am staying in this relationship forever.

Truly the perfect relationship

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Where Are They Now? Part V


For my favorite (and only) recurring series here on the blog, I offer updates on former Milan players as well as when they played for Milan. You may have previously read part I, part II, part III and part IV in earlier installments. As with those editions, some information is factual, some is non-factual, depending on how entertaining the facts are. At a time when we know exactly where our current Milan players are and how just painful that knowledge is, this edition attempts to distract, deceive, and disarm even the most depressed Milan fan. So in case you ever wondered about our former players, here are the partially true answers to “Where are they now?”