Milan Obsession

Much has been spoken of Gattuso, good and bad, since taking over the first team at Milan. Most of the talk centers around his grinta and his tactics, or lack thereof. But today, I would like to propose an alternate theory as to his legacy at Milan: getting rid of Montolivo. While the purchase of Biglia largely pushed Milan’s most universally hated player to the bench, Gattuso is doing everything in his power to rid us of him forever.

Serie A has always had problems, but since Calciopoli, it seems like they just cannot get it together. They focus on ridiculous things, like commissioning an anthem for the league three years ago that is meant to help curb corruption. Because songs totally curb corruption, right? In addition to that ridiculous irony, it was written in three languages: Latin, Italian, and English. Do you think most footballers speak those three languages? And I don’t know about the other languages, but the English is not great. So fitting for a league that is so intrinsically corrupt and self-destructive. But also so deluded at the same time.

There is something I have always hated about Juventus: their entitled mentality. But that has morphed into something more sociopath than humane. They are so hell bent on winning that literally nothing else matters. Not their players, their directors, their fans, or even human beings in general. It is a horrible disease, and when people ask if I am jealous of Juventus, I am quick to say no, absolutely not. Because not only do I bleed red and black, but also I have a conscience and I value human beings. Juve’s motto may be “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing,” but it has created a club devoid of all human decency.

Milan have three wins in a row, and I couldn’t be more frightened. Why? Because we cannot keep a clean sheet to save our lives. It’s like having an amazing dinner, but knowing you’re going to get mugged on the way home. Not being able to keep 90 minutes of mentality is already making our results shaky, but stand to pull the rug out from beneath us in the long run. And it’s not just one game, it’s happening over and over again.

We were playing the 20th place team. In our house. We should have dominated. And we did, with 68% possession and 20 shots, although only six of those on target. But if we were ever going to keep a clean sheet, this would have been the game. And we couldn’t. It was a flawed victory.

Every time we play Chievo, I think of Pandoro. I can’t help myself, Pandoro is the singularly most delicious thing in this world. And that Chievo are owned by Paluani, a company that makes Pandoro, doesn’t help. The second thing I think of are the Flying Donkeys. Because what the hell?! But this time around, I also think of the number three. First was Sassuolo, then Olympiacos, and I want Chievo to be our third straight win. Like three of a kind.

Milan have been so inconsistent this season, but the one thing they have been consistent on is conceding goals. But their second half meltdowns were becoming all too familiar, too. So what a refreshing surprise that after conceding a goal in the first half, they managed to step it up in the second half and win in style. And to add to the feel-good win, the goals were scored by our returning-from-injury strikers.

Milan won their Serie A match on Sunday in spite of themselves. But now our Europa League test is upon us, as we face the top-ranked team in our group, Olympiacos. The Greek powerhouse team played to a goalless draw in their opening match against Real Betis, and will be in search of a win on Thursday. Despite having won our opening match with Dudelange, Milan will be seeking three points as well. This season has had more than its fair share of disappointments for us, so Milan will be playing in search of honor

It wasn’t Milan’s finest hour. With no strikers starting, we all expected the worst. But it seems that those pesky strikers were apparently always in the way of the goal, and without them, the other players could finally score. In all seriousness, what started out as a horrific performance turned into an amazing result thanks to some individual brilliance. Instead of another disappointment, this match was a Milan goalfest.