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Derby Smacktalk Contest


As we continue to prepare for the Derby della Madonnina on Sunday, I thought it might be a good idea to brush up on our smacktalk. Not just any smacktalk, Derby smacktalk. A contest to see who is the best at insulting the hideously horrific heathens. A chance to see which Diavolo has the sharpest pitchfork for a tongue. But mostly a chance for us to tune up our taunts and mentally prepare for Sunday’s showdown with the slithering snakes.

This is how the classy ones do it. I am not that classy.

Here is how it works: copy and paste one or more of the following into the comments and then do your worst. Use your cruelest, wittiest, most angry words to finish off the phrase(s). Profanity is synonymous with Inter, of course. In fact, my daughter calls them “the bad ‘I’ word.” However keep in mind that this is a contest, and I am looking for the very best, most creative, clever, and above all insulting and effective use of smacktalk, with or without profanity.


They say Inter are our cousins? Inter are ____________________________________.

Mancini can only win when he is gifted a title because he is ___________________________________.

Icardi is _____________________________________.

Inter fans ___________________________________.

Think more Mexes, less Maldini

Rules: you can enter as many times as you like. Use a thesaurus, use a dictionary, use whatever wordsmithery you like. In the event of a similar or identical entry, the first one posted will be chosen.

Winner(s) will be determined before the preview goes up and acknowledged for their brilliance. Do your worst. Literally. Verbally tear those filthy, pathetic cheating little grass snakes to shreds. (Feels good, doesn’t it?)


This post inspired by the music of NIN’s “Pretty Hate Machine” album


Our next match is
il Derby della Madonnina
Inter vs. AC Milan
Sunday, April 19 • 20:45 CEST (2:45pm EDT)