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Calendar Boys


For years I wanted a Milan calendar for my wall, but could never find one. Then, last winter, Milan were selling a wall calendar and desk calendar combo for a very reasonable price, so of course I bought the set right away. I was thrilled and so proud to show my Milan pride. At least until I realized that there would be two transfer markets this calendar year. So the team whose photos are on my calendars is definitely not the same team Milan have now. So much for my Milan pride. Now when people come over and ask who that is, I have to tell them he’s an ex-Milan player.

January 2014: So right and so wrong, so very long ago

It started in January. Balotelli was a great choice at the time, although no longer here, of course. But I almost vomited every time I saw Matri. So the second his loan to Fiorentina was official, I printed a Fiorentina jersey out and slapped it on there to remind me that things were going to get better now. Of course, he popped up again in October on the desk calendar, when I couldn’t be bothered to put a Genoa jersey on him. Just as well, since he started actually scoring for Preziosi’s team.

The club legend didn't even make it to October

Besides, on the November wall calendar, there was more pain, as I have to look all month at Kaka and remember the club legend’s second underwhelming stint at Milan and the fact that he was in Brazil now, waiting for his new MLS adventure to begin. Calendars are not supposed to hurt like this.

There was some change in our midfield/forwards/left backs/wherever

Change can be good, as the July desk calendar would predict the departure of both Kevin Constant and Urby Emmanuelson. There were other players in other months who left of course. I mean we brought in ten new players this summer. More than a third of our squad. That much change in a set of calendars can be frustrating, but is it good for the squad?

Wait, Matri again? Even El Shaarawy couldn't look at him.

The transfer markets bring change to every team, although not usually as many as Milan have seen this calendar year. There are always positives and negatives to change, and I know I could have changed the jerseys, thrown darts at, burned or otherwise destroyed any of the pages on either of my calendars. But they have served as a poignant reminder all year long of the growing pains Milan has endured in one single year. Hopefully, someday, I can look back at these calendars and laugh.

Two are in Serie B, one is playing for an amateur club. Kinda sums up Milan's transfers of late.

So as I look ahead to January 2015, I have some options. I could stare at the pictures of three goalkeepers, none of which are in our squad anymore, or I could roll the dice and buy the 2015 Milan calendar. How many of the players on the new cover will even be there at the end of January 2015? Let alone after the summer window? Or maybe they should just put pictures of the San Siro and Casa Milan. And Galliani. You know he’s not going anywhere. And while I will obviously still support Milan with my heart and all of my spare time, would it be better to spend next year looking at puppies or kittens or something? You know I will probably hand my €14,90 + shipping over to the club. They’re going to need it to pay for all of those transfers.


For those of you who have clicked on this post in error, expecting to see a bunch of oiled up men in very little clothing, I apologize profusely, especially for the picture of Kevin Constant. Sorry for any inconvenience, and good luck with the rest of your search.


This post inspired by the music of The Cure’s “Boys Don’t Cry”