Milan 2, Parma 2: Never Say Die

In the classic movie, "The Goonies," a group of young kids fight to save their homes from a property development company. Along the way, they have to overcome many challenges, but one of the most famous quotes from the movie comes from Mikey, who rallies the troops with the line "Goonies never say die!" Much like those young kids, our young Milan team have been tasked to save Milan's honor and return it to glory. One of the obstacles they faced today was the woodwork, with Milan hitting it four times in a single match. Another was injuries. Already missing two important players, we saw two more starters go out with potentially serious injuries during this match. But, just like the young heroes in the movie, Milan players never say die.


Not today, Fratelli... er... fratello

Gabbia was injured in the third minute and had to be subbed off. I wasn't too worried, because Kalulu came on to replace him, and he had a great game on Thursday. But he is young. This was his first Serie A match, and he hasn't played with Romagnoli. I should have worried. In the 13th minute, Hernani scored a goal, basically unmarked, from a cross from Gervinho, whom Kalulu was unsuccessful in marking. Parma were shockingly up 1-0. Already.

Castillejo looked to have scored an equalizer after Theo Hernandez sent a cross in and Brahim masterfully flicked it on for our Spanish fashion statement in the 24th. But after VAR review, it was determined that he was a shoe size offside. In the 40th, Brahim hit the woodwork on the right corner, then amazingly, Calhanoglu hit the left corner on the rebound in an almost identical place on the opposite side of the goal. You probably won't see that again in your lifetime.


Castillejo's role was reduced by VAR to the role of Stef, the friend of the hot girl

Milan's misfortune/challenges/incomprehensibly bad luck had to change after the half, right? Pioli brought on Hauge and Leao for Castillejo and Brahim, subs that clever Milan fans were begging for, and it seemed like it was going to get better. Then the whistle blew to start the second half. Kessie had a shot saved. Calhanoglu hit the crossbar again. Leao took a big knock. Theo Hernandez had a shot blocked. Leao had a spectacular tackle in the 55th, but he came up hurting, maybe from the knock or the tackle or both, but he wasn't 100% and thus was not able to conquer the bad guys like we would want from a Goonie.


Calhanoglu was about as lucky as Data with his inventions, or maybe even less lucky

In the 56th, things went from bad to worse as Kurtic scored a laser of a header, with poor young Kalulu not looking much like he did on Thursday. 2-0 Parma. Milan could not give up our undefeated streak like this. Not now, not to Parma, Pioli's former club from his playing days, his hometown club. 


First, (spoiler alert) you beat One-Eyed Willie...

Luckily, Milan players never say die. Theo Hernandez scored a header in the 58th. From a Calhanoglu corner. That's right, Milan scored from a corner. That's like two now in a week. Milan 1, Parma 2. Game on. Milan threw everything at Parma. Literally, they took 26 shots, but only six were on target. With 65% possession. But Parma were clinical, six shots, four on target, with two goals. 


Don't worry, little buddy, you've got a friendly giant who's got your back. Get well soon.

Then Bennacer pulled up injured in the 73rd. Tonali came on to replace him. Could Milan really do this now? Two potentially major injuries in one match, it was enough to destroy the mentality of an experienced team, let alone a bunch of kids. But Milan refused to throw in the towel. In the 90th +1, Theo Hernandez scored an amazing goal, on the rebound of Rebic's shot that Sepe had parried out. 2-2 all. The kids fought, they did not give up until the whistle blew. Calhanoglu took a lovely curling corner in the 90th +3, but Sepe saved that, too. 


...then (spoiler alert) the maid finds the marble bag with the gems 

Milan would have to settle for the draw, but it felt like they had saved the day. Just like the Goonies faced obstacle after obstacle, and in the dying minutes of the movie, they saved the day, too, Theo Hernandez saved Milan's unbeaten streak and salvaged a point in a game when lesser players would have given up. Let's hope that the good fortune continues and that Gabbia and Bennacer are not injured too badly. But even if we lose them for a while, we know that the rest of the guys won't give up. Because these players never say die.


This post inspired by Sloth and all of the Goonies


Our next match is
Serie A Week 12
Genoa vs. Milan
Wednesday, December 16 • 20:45 CET (2:45pm EST)

Milan 2, Parma 2: Never Say Die Milan 2, Parma 2: Never Say Die Reviewed by Elaine on 11:20 PM Rating: 5
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