Skip to main content

Crotone-Milan Preview: Shark Fury


Having recently survived watching Sharknado 5, the one thing that was painfully obvious was that the best way to defeat sharks is with a chainsaw. However, FIFA don’t allow players to wield chainsaws on the pitch, so unfortunately they will have to rely on their footballing skills. Thank goodness we finally have some players who have skills that are exciting enough we won’t miss the sharks being ripped apart by chainsaws. Because that is seriously awesome. And seriously, Crotone are a frenzy of sharks with a lot of fury.

I'd choose him to lead the fight against a Sharknado anytime

There is a lot of emotion surrounding Crotone. Last season was their first season in Serie A. All season long, they rode the relegation wave, and it seemed that it would be their fate. Then suddenly, late in the season, they started winning. So Davide Nicola, their manager made them a promise in April. He said that if they survived relegation, he would ride his bicycle 1,300 km from Calabria to Turin, his hometown. Part of his purpose in riding his bike was to highlight road safety, after having lost his 14 year old son in a tragic bicycle accident just three years ago. And apparently, the power of those emotions and the drive of a grieving father was enough for Crotone to win six of their final nine matches and secure safety to be able to compete in Serie A again this year.

Those are some excited sharks

While they could never reinforce like a big club, Crotone have been able to add a few decent players this summer. That list includes a talented young Milan midfielder called Crociata (the Crusader.) I guess it makes sense that Milan sold him, after all, how could a Crusader play for i Diavoli? A shame though, I really liked what little I saw him play. Meanwhile, Crotone are picking up where they left off last season, having dispatched of Piacenza 2-1 last week in the Coppa Italia. For that match, Nicola lined up Cordaz; Faraoni, Cabrera, Martella, Ceccherini, Izco, Stoian, Tonev, Barberis Rohden, and Budimir. As far as I can find, he has no players injured or with suspensions from last season. I expect whomever he lines up for this one to be very hungry when we travel to their shark-infested waters.

Milan, on the other hand are literally a new team from the one that finished 6th in Serie A last season. We have a new captain, one that is such a good leader, he even inspired the armband-free Montolivo to score on Thursday in our 6-0 Europa league rout of poor KF Shkëndija. Montella started a number of players expected to be in his regular starting 11, but rested some, too, because of so many games in so few days. Romagnoli has only just returned to training this week, so is unlikely to feature. Bonaventura and Biglia are both out with muscle injuries. Then there are players who are likely to be on their way out the door who may not be called up, we’ll see. They include Gomez, Paletta, and Niang. With the team traveling to Macedonia on Thursday for the second leg of our Europa League match, it will be interesting to see the choices Montella makes.

Will his lineups and tactics cast a spell against i Squali

While I wish this match could be played with actual chainsaws, I guess I will just have to settle with football. Hopefully good football. But I hope Milan don’t play like those fighting the sharks in Sharknado 5, because that movie was also nearly chainsaw-free, and thus terrible. It will be important to play a strong game and set a precedent for the season, even if we just played a game on Thursday. But with fresh legs… er, fins… and playing in their house… er… waters, i Squali could offer quite he shark fury.


This post inspired by the chainsaws in Sharknado 1-4


Serie A Week 1
Crotone vs. Milan
Sunday, August 20 • 20:45 CEST (2:45pm EDT)
This match will NOT be broadcast LIVE in the U.S.

-->