Trofeo Berlusconi Preview: Milan vs. Inter

As illustrious and highly esteemed as Silvio himself, the Trofeo Berlusconi is always a riveting, highly watched match between the world’s greatest teams. Oh wait, my bad. The Trofeo Berlusconi is a meaningless friendly that was once a preseason match, but has now been bumped to October or November because of the more lucrative summer friendlies that are now available. In fact, Milan wisely chose to play it the same day as Champions League matches for the second year running. Which means neither team are playing in Europe, and you won’t even be able to find a stream. As if you’d want to.

Just give yourself a trophy, Silvio, and then fix Milan or get out.

The Trofeo Berlusconi is actually the Trofeo Luigi Berlusconi, a match Silvio created in honor of his father. It used to be played preseason, and the concept was for Milan to play the Champions League winners every year, but then it turned into a Milan vs. Juventus thing for the longest time. Now it’s a Milan vs. any team that will be seen on the pitch with us, and the irony of now scheduling it during Champions League matches is not lost on me. Perhaps they were trying to have a midweek match to distract fans, but nothing says “fallen from grace” louder than trying to compete with the competition you should be in.

As Juventus are actually playing in said Champions League on Wednesday, they were obviously unavailable. So why not get the team that is most readily available, our cross-town rivals instead? I mean they are actually very competitive in the league this year, so a midweek butt-kicking by the team we hate the most sounds like a great way to remember dear old dad.

He's supposedly a liefelong Milanista, but it won't stop him from hurting us on Wednesday

There is one plus to this madness: the curse of the Berlusconi Trophy. It is well known that whomever wins the Berlusconi Trophy does not go on to win the Scudetto that season. Considering Milan aren’t even contenders, we can win a trophy and not worry about the curse. Like last year, when we beat San Lorenzo. However, if Inter win the trophy, we can take solace that they then will definitely not win the Scudetto, either. So it’s kind of a win-win for Milan. If you call playing ameaningless  friendly midweek and risking injuries to try to win a trophy your own team owner bought winning, that is.

We did beat Inter twice in meaningless friendlies in the summer, so I suppose we could make it three times. But given the players they acquired since then and the form they have, it’s unlikely. Also, Milan are like a blind man trying to find his own foot in the dark, we’re carrying a few high profile injuries, experimenting with tactics, and mostly sucking the life out of every Milan fan on the planet. If we get excited about this match because there’s a useless trophy involved, I will actually be sad. Winning to beat those cheating, scum-sucking, slimy, useless snakes, on the other hand, is something I can totally get behind.

Inter fans portraying Juve as thieves is like Berlusconi portraying himself to be the Pope. Except Berlusconi knows better. #DerbyDItalia

— Milan Obsession (@milanobsession) October 18, 2015

For once I have absolutely no clue as to which system Mihajlovic will play, or who will start. It would certainly be a great game to give the Mexes’ and the Nocerinos of this world a run out. But with the media more consistently expecting Milan to pay a fourth coaches’ salary should Miahjlovic be sacked, he may use this match to try a new system or tweak an existing one, with mostly starters since we are knee deep into the season already. We face a dangerous Sassuolo side on Sunday, so it’s hard to know if he’ll experiment with the starters or rest them, or maybe a little of both.

One thing is for sure, even the most ardent Milan fans will likely be keeping at least one eye towards the Champions League games. Because it’s less painful to think about the coefficient than it is to watch Milan play these days, even if it’s just a friendly. Also, it won’t be hard to find the Champions League games, whereas we’ll be lucky to find a way to watch the treasured Trofeo Berlusconi match, and even luckier to still have our lives and our sanity after having seen it. Poor Luigi, it must be awful to be remembered like this.

This post inspired by the music of the Hollywood Vampires

Our next match is the world renowned

Trofeo Luigi Berlusconi

Milan vs. Inter

Wednesday, October 21 • 18:00 CEST (12noon EDT)

This match will NOT be shown LIVE in the U.S.