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In Search of the Perfect Relationship


Everyone wants to be loved. So finding that perfect relationship more than just feels that void, it completes you. Like when I found Milan. I knew that my life would never be the same, and that made me so happy. So even when my perfect relationship became abusive, like any good enabler, I stuck with it, trying to make it work. Because Milan has truly become the colors of my heart, so win or lose, I am staying in this relationship forever.

Truly the perfect relationship


I knew I had a problem when I found myself writing “50 Shades of Red and Black.” In addition to being abused by the club, I was clearly addicted to all things Milan. And I wouldn’t change that for all the world. Well I did break up with Allegri, but it was only after Milan had fired him.

So here I am. Ten days left in the mercato and rumors swirling like a Sharknado. I could panic. I could run. I could have a Twitter tantrum or whatever else people do when their relationship turns sour… again.

But I would rather stay true to my beloved. Continue to enable my abuser. Keep denying my problem, Rob Ford style. Because deep down inside, I love Milan. And no matter how painful it gets, I am here until death do us part (which sometimes seems more imminent than at other times due to the fact that my lover often makes me suicidal.)

It's in my blood, leaving it would kill me

So to get through the last ten days of the transfer window and whatever is in store for all of us, please re-read this Milan Survival Guide 101, written last year when things were so very bleak. I mean, we survived 3.5 years with Allegri, we can get through anything. And keep in mind that in all great relationships, we all need support. We can be here for each other in the same way that we were in Milan A.D. (Allegri Days.)

Maybe Milan will never be the perfect relationship, but I am perfectly content to keep working at it. For all of the pain of these past few years, I know it will bring me joy again someday. Until then, I will hemorrhage red and black if necessary, knowing that someday my heart will be healed again and I will associate the red and black with joy once more.


This post inspired by the music of “Milan Milan”


Our next match is the
Trofeo TIM
Saturday, August 23
20:45 CEST (2:45pm EDT) Milan vs. Juventus
21:45 CEST (3:45pm EDT) loser of 1st game vs. Sassuolo
22:45 CEST (4:45pm EDT) loser of 2nd game vs. Sassuolo