Milan 2, Bologna 0: Beauty Comes From Within

Milan were not recognizable tonight by the color of their kits, which were hideously traumatizing. But inside, they are still the excellent players that we know and love, with a fresh infusion of elegance and an air of magic. Bologna were fierce and did their best to stop the unstoppable, but Milan's quality shone through. They may not have been wearing Milan colors, two beautiful goals and a clean sheet helped fans identify their team without a doubt. No matter how ugly the kits Puma comes up with, beauty comes from within.

Even in the traumatizing kit, that goal was sheer beauty

Bologna made a couple of early attempts, but with only eight attempts in all, had zero shots on target. Which meant that Maignan did not even need to work up a sweat in his bizarre peach sorbetto colored kit, still by far more attractive than anything any other Milan player was forced to wear. Messias had the first shot on target in the 17th minute, and Tomori got a little closer with a great cross in a few minutes later, but Skorupski grabbed it before Milan's attack could pounce on it.

Beauty. Grace. Artistry. Badass.

There was nothing Bologna could do about the brilliant ball De Ketelaere sent in for Leão in the 21st, however. Leão's beautiful finish was also untouchable, making the score 1-0 Milan. The frustration about the difference in quality could be seen on Mihajlović's face. In fact, looking at Bologna's staff throughout the match, you could see the quality envy written all over them. Or maybe they were just staving off the nausea from staring at Milan's third kit, I don't know.

De Ketelaere is the envy of the Bologna staff and everyone not Milan.

The second half saw Bologna come out even more determined, but so did Milan. In the 58th, Leão sent a perfect ball in for Giroud, whose volley was every bit as artistic as it was athletic, and there was nothing Skorupski could do about it. 2-0 Milan. Pioli always says that the team is focused on the game at hand, but after the Champions League Group Stage draw this week, it felt like those were some Champions League-level goals.

The goal and the assist, take a bow, Leão

After De Ketelaere's first Milan start, new father Adli made his official debut as he subbed on for Bennacer in the 61st, followed by Pobega and Saelemaekers for De Ketelaere and Messias. Calabria earned a yellow and nearly started a brawl, and Saelemaekers made shots off target, as he does. In the 74th, Bologna had an appeal for a penalty when there was contact with Tomori and Sansone in the box. But Manganiello did not give it, nor did VAR intervene. Maybe Manganiello just didn't want to be swarmed by those atrocious kits.

Celebration worthy of the goal

Ballo-Touré made a 15 minute appearance after subbing on for Theo Hernández, and Gabbia came on for Tomori in the 83rd. Adli had a nice attempt that was ever-so-close in the 85th, but Skorupski shut him down point blank. Then the (probably exhausted) new father earned himself a yellow card a minute later. 

Pioli explaining to Maignan that his kit only looks like sorbetto, he shouldn't eat it.

It's not enough that these kits make all of the players' skin tones look sallow and sickly, enough to make you want to puke. But Puma and Milan are cramming them down our throats, adding to the nausea. Gratefully, our players came to our rescue and distracted us from our gag reflexes to give us some moments of true exquisite football. Also the three points and the win, which were even more delicious after Inter lost yesterday. It is hard to look past the obvious horror of these kits, but our players reminded us that beauty comes from within.



This post inspired by the music of Lush's "Sweetness and Light"


Our next match is 
Serie A Week 4
Sassuolo vs. Milan
Tuesday, August 30 • 18:30 CEST (12:30pm EDT)


Milan 2, Bologna 0: Beauty Comes From Within Milan 2, Bologna 0: Beauty Comes From Within Reviewed by Elaine on 11:59 PM Rating: 5
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