Milan 4, Lazio 0: Slaughterhouse-Four

If you are a Kurt Vonnegut fan, this will be nothing like his masterpiece, Slaughterhouse-Five. Also, I am sorry. If you are not a fan, I am also sorry. You should be a fan. But I am not sorry about overpowering the Lazio regime. Statistics show they tried, but Milan were clinical and slaughtered the Eagles 4-0 with only eight shots, but six on target. It's almost as if Milan were on another planet.

When the good guys win the battle

The match was not particularly eventful, with only 15 shots between the two teams (Lazio only managed one shot on target.) But a couple of yellow cards mean that one player from each team will be suspended for their next Coppa match. In our case, that means Tonali will miss the first leg of the semifinals vs. Inter in March.

Surf's up

Other than that, it was mainly goals, goals, and more goals. The first was a Leão goal in the 24th. Romagnoli sent the perfect ball forward, and Leão upped his speed and scored with the power and grace only he can. 1-0 Milan. That was also Leão's ninth goal this season in all competitions.

Take that, fans with very unpopular political beliefs

Next, the young Portuguese player took a pass from Brahim Díaz, and then unselfishly crossed it in to Giroud, who only needed to tap it in. 2-0 Milan, and he equalled Leão's nine goal tally for the season.

The French Connection

In the final minute of the first half, Theo Hernández was the one to cross it in for Giroud, who scored another brace. 3-0 Milan. This was his 10th goal in all competitions for Milan, all of them scored at the San Siro.

When good overpowers evil... again

The final goal came from Kessié, from a Daniel Maldini free kick in the 78th. 4-0 Milan. Some Milan fans criticize the Ivorian midfielder due to his contract situation, but I will take every goal I can get, from any source.

That is really all there was to this game. Milan's confidence from the Derby win showed in their solid performance, and rather than having to escape a slaughterhouse, they turned the San Siro into the slaughterhouse. Sorry, not Sarri. 


This post inspired by (but not aspiring to be anything like) the amazing Kurt Vonnegut


Our next match is
Milan vs. Sampdoria
Sunday, February 13 • 12:30 CET (6:30am EST)


Milan 4, Lazio 0: Slaughterhouse-Four Milan 4, Lazio 0: Slaughterhouse-Four Reviewed by Elaine on 3:24 PM Rating: 5
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