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Watching Castillejo



There is a lot of buzz about Samu Castillejo. Many of us knew little about him until he was linked with Milan. That is always disconcerting, because when a player comes to your team for a relatively large transfer fee, you would hope that they are well known for good reasons. But today I’d like to really take a good look at our new winger. Maybe not the kind of look you were expecting, but a good look all the same.

I don't think that's the kind of surprise Maldini meant

Maldini said last week that Castillejo could really surprise. I’m not sure if that was meant in a good way or not, but imagine my surprise when I started seeing pictures of him all dressed up to go out. Seriously. Shocking. And I mean that in the worst of ways. The hair was already questionable, but nothing prepared me for the “fashion.” Did we seriously use Bacca to pay for this?

There's no place like home... please stay there in that outfit

Your mom's nightshirt, shredded skinny jeans, bedazzled shoes... NO.

This is not what they meant when they said ODD man out

It's like PeeWee Herman's worst nightmare

So people have different tastes in fashion, I know that very well. But when you have no taste at all, it is a problem. Clothing should be well fitting to be flattering, and when it fits poorly, it becomes absolutely wrong. Just for body type alone, Castillejo should never wear the cropped tight pants. It’s the opposite of attractive. But at least if you’re going to wear them, wear them so they fit well. Tight can look good if it fits properly. Or you can look like Castillejo and make people wish they could unsee everything.

Not sure even this can redeem him for his poor fashion choices

All I am saying is that Castillejo is going to have to work miracles on the pitch to balance out what I have just displayed above. Miracles. Everyone says he is fast, but they also say his finishing is poor. What good is a player like that? We already have a Borini. So I really hope that for €19m + Bacca (we bought him for €30m, but his current market value is reportedly €10m,) he can dazzle more than his hideous choices in shoes. That he runs so fast that it wipes our memories clean of all of those poor fitting tight pants and feminine tops and accessories. The one thing he has going for him is that he supported Milan as a child. But still, those are some really poor fashion choices, so he’s got to make up for it on the pitch. I know that I for one will be watching Castillejo.


This post inspired by the music of Madonna’s “Vogue”


Our next match is
Serie A Week 2
Napoli vs. Milan
Saturday, August 25 • 20:30 CEST (2:30pm EDT)