A Very Milan Christmas

We’ve all seen drunk Santa. A guy who was down on his luck, lost his job, and took a temporary job playing Santa. But when his wife threw him out because she was in love with his best friend, he drowned his sorrows in alcohol. Which got him fired, of course, and now he is sitting in the alley, filthy and drunk and passed out. And that is exactly the shape of Milan this season on this happy occasion. Merry Christmas!

Our captain is embracing the drunk Santa idea already

Poor drunk Santa’s life spiraled out of control and it was just too much to bear. The same is true for Milan and for its fans. But unlike drunk Santa, we still have something to live for. Something that didn’t cheat on us with our best friend, get us fired, or make us drink until we passed out. And that is the Milan crest. The Milan colors, the beautiful history, the memories of greatness forged out of times kind of like this.

I think Bonaventura decided he couldn't drink well enough with the beard

And so this Christmas, let us give thanks for all that we do have. We don’t need to think about our foolish cousins who thought they could win the Scudetto this year, but have started their nosedive with full force… well at least not until we face them on Wednesday do we not need to think about them. In fact, let’s not think about Wednesday at all. That’s just a bad idea.

While we're at it, let's add a white Christmas to our wish list. It's more likely to happen than a win.

Let’s think about how we are lucky to have an ex-Milan champion on the bench furiously coaching our team back to glory…. wait, that’s not exactly true. You know what, now that I think about it, drunk Santa had the right idea. Let’s forget all of our troubles, grab a bottle and hope we pass out for a really long time… until this all passes by and we are actually winning again. That might be the best idea yet. So tell your family you love them, but Milan needs you right now, and let’s all drink our sorrows away together. It will be a very Milan Christmas, indeed!

This match inspired by the music of The Kinks’ “Father Christmas”

Have a wonderful Christmas and let’s look forward to a better Milan New Year!

Our next match is

Coppa Italia Quarterfinal

Milan vs. Inter

Wednesday, December 27 • 20:45 CET (2:45pm EST)

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