Karmalicious

Anyone who has ever read anything I’ve written about Inter knows that my hatred of them runs much deeper than the traditional “cousin” rivalry. And I don’t call them “merda” like so many other people do, because I feel like that is an insult to the actual merda. My Twitter followers always know when Inter has lost, because my schadenfreude simply erupts onto my timeline. But as they seem to be winning just enough matches to stay clear of the relegation zone this season, it has still been one very delightful season for Milan fans. Milan have inexplicably climbed the table to currently sit in third place, while Inter sit in twelfth, having been as low as 17th at one point. Juxtapose Milan’s Curva at least pretending to care about their injured captain with their pathetic meltdown between their Ultra and their scumbag degenerate captain Icardi, and it just gets better for Milan fans. In fact, one might even call it Karmalicious.

"Schadenfreude" by Sofia

Karma is accused of being a lot of things, but none of them are pleasant or enjoyable. Schadenfreude, on the other hand is all about the joy. So Inter started out by spending over €75m for new players, including Ever Banega, Joao Mario, Gabigol, Candreva, and Ansaldi. And while I specifically remember Inter fans mocking Milan’s meager mercato while the negotiations for the sale of the club were going on, Karma seems to have righted those injustices. Now Milan have a record of 7W, 1D, and 3L in the league so far, with the youngest starting lineup in Serie A, too, having spent next to nothing in the mercato. Oh, and that includes four straight home wins. Whereas Inter spent so much, have such quality players, but can’t seem to win at San Siro… or at all, really. Their record is 4W, 2D, and 5L. Which brings me to a very Karmalicious stat:

5 - Inter have lost five out of 11 league games – in Serie A 2015/16 they lost their fifth game after MD22. Stop.

— OptaPaolo (@OptaPaolo) October 30, 2016

As for coaches, Milan have Montella. And while he has not produced the quality of football he was hired to bring, he has produced the results. He built upon the good work that was done with mentality last year and has the most unlikely team believing and winning. Meanwhile, Inter “mutually” parted ways with Mancini just before the season kicked off (he probably found out there wasn’t going to be any wire tapping this year, so no winning.) They brought in De Boer, who seemed potentially formidable. However he has not been able to produce results, and instead has pointed out from day one that Inter have problems with mentality. In fact, he could be being sacked as I type this. The options being discussed as his replacement are laughable. But then again, that’s what I love doing most at Inter: laughing at them.

Samuele and Alice knew what to do with that pathetic Interista, Filippo

So much ties these teams together besides the city and stadium we share. Both teams have had very poor captains in recent years. Since the days when Zanetti and Maldini would shake hands ahead of a derby, the quality of the men wearing the armband at both clubs has just withered away. However when Milan’s captain sustained a serious injury, most fans, and particularly the Curva Sud, behaved like men and offered respect and sympathy. Inter’s captain, the pathetic wife-stealing, kid-using, tattooed thug they call Icardi, lied in his book about some interactions with the Curva Nord and threatened to call “100 Argentinian assassins” on them. This started a war with the Curva Nord, and they called for him to hand over the armband. Even Zanetti intimated that he would have to give up the captaincy for that level of douchiness, but in the end the organization as a whole chose only to fine him, and he still wears their armband. So typical Inter. Lacking all common sense and class. So the Curva Nord pronounced him dead to them, but will probably be wearing his jersey again once he starts scoring consistently again. However, just like watching a gritty, juicy reality show in which the hated, classless, sleazebag gets voted off again and again, this show was also Karmalicious.

Interista tears are magical, they make the dreams of Milanisti come true

So with the Derby coming up in a few weeks, it is uncertain whether or not we will be able to replicate our brilliant 3-0 win over them in January. Or, if a certan “non vinci” coach is hired in the meantime, whether or not we could pull off the delicious 3-0 win we did last time he was coach at Inter. In fact, it’s hard to know how long this Karma will last at all. They have better players. We are expecting to change ownership in the next month. They spent like ten times as much as we did in the mercato. Our players are young and inexperienced. In fact, for what we have been through in the past five years, what is happening right now is completely miraculous. Whereas what Inter has done to themselves is shameful and almost impossible to believe on the opposite side of the spectrum. All I know is that every time they lose, it makes my day. The days where we win and they lose are my best days, so I will enjoy it for as long as it lasts. For as much as my daughter’s amazing drawing of my schadenfreude makes me so very proud, seeing it brought to life over and over again is simply Karmalicious.

This post was inspired by the music of Muse’s “New Kind of Kick”

Our next match is

Palermo vs. Milan

Sunday, November 6 • 15:00 CET (9am EST)