Skip to main content

What a Woman Really Wants


I like a man who gets right down to business, but never skips the formalities. I like a man who is always in control, but stays calm and never gets angry. I love a man who keeps things going, but also knows when to stop. I love it when a man doesn’t always just whip it out, but rather is willing to give a little warning first. But mostly I love a man who is confident and competent, who at the end of it all has given a great performance, but seeks no attention for himself. That’s what a woman really wants.

A woman wants a man who plays fair

If you thought you knew what I was talking about, you may need to think again. I am talking, of course about referees. A good referee makes any game a pleasure to watch, while a bad referee will leave you frustrated and angry. And no one wants to be frustrated or angry.

When I say that they get right down to business , but never skip the formalities, I love a professional ref. Three years ago, I showed referees a little love with a piece about the challenges they face and what kind of people they are. And some are simply better suited to officiate, with faces and mannerisms that are friendly, but not too much so. Maybe they share a laugh with the players in the tunnel, but when they step on the pitch, they command the respect of the entire stadium. And they keep their tempers if things get too hot, they don’t even need alternative equipment to help them keep things under control. That’s what I mean about a man who is always in control, but stays calm and never gets angry.

Like an eager teenage boy, he just whips that thing out

One of the greatest pleasures is a ref who keeps things going, but also knows when to stop. Otherwise I may as well watch American football, where more time is spent not playing than actually playing. And keeping the flow of the game is so important. But I also like when a ref knows when to stop for a serious infraction or for the health and safety of players. There really is something about good judgment that keeps me going during a match.

I love it when a ref doesn’t always just whip it out, but rather is willing to give a little warning first. This is honestly one of my favorite traits of a good ref. Anyone can just whip out a card like an eager teenage boy. But a wise ref knows that with 90 minutes in a match, sometimes by giving a little verbal warning to the players early on, he’ll demand more respect, and the game will be more pure, everyone going home happier for his prudence. A good ref gives a performance that is both lasting and memorable.

Keeping control helps everyone enjoy it better

But mostly I love a man who is confident and competent, who at the end of it all has given a great performance, but seeks no attention for himself. How many times have we seen refs help a game deteriorate into an episode of Refs Gone Wild? No one wants to see that, especially not me. When there is a controversy, I want a man to stand up and make a call, and stick to it. It’s nice that these men are getting help from enhancements like Goal Line Technology. In fact, just this past week, FIFA’s new president, Gianni Infantino, approved testing for video replay technology. But even with technology, the game will always need men who are firm and fair, competent and confident. And at the end of the match, they will be the least conspicuous man on the pitch, but have given the best performance of the night.

Maybe I’m not your typical woman, but I do know what I like. And I don’t want a man who is impotent and weak, unable to perform or do the job right. I want a man who will enhance my experience and make it more pleasurable for everyone involved. I don’t want someone who prematurely whips it out, but rather someone who knows when a few words make all the difference, yet also knows when to stop. A man who can last the whole 90 minutes, who knows how to keep his cool when things get hot is exactly the kind of man I need to make me happy. Because more than anyone else involved, the man in the middle determines the satisfaction of everyone at the end of the night. And that’s what a woman really wants.


This post inspired by the music of She Wants Revenge


Our next match is
Chievo vs. Milan
Sunday, March 13 • 12:30 CET • (7:30am EDT)*

*Reminder to U.S. fans that Daylight Savings Time begins at 2am on Sunday so be sure to set your clocks forward for the game