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Audi Cup • Bayern Munich vs. AC Milan: Like Lahms to the Slaughter


So it’s time for the Audi Cup again. Milan have played in all three editions of this tournament, finishing fourth place twice, and third place last time, in 2013. The Audi Cup is held every two years, always hosted by Bayern, and they have won it twice and finished second once. The only other team to ever win it was Barcelona, and they were not invited back, so you can see that there is a lot of motivation to win it (so we’re never invited back again.) Unfortunately, being sponsored by Audi, we will have to suffer through many more tournaments, I’m sure. But with Bayern’s form poor right now and Milan’s form improving, who will win today? Will Milan surprise even ourselves and lead Pep Guardiola’s Bayern Munich team like Lahms to the slaughter?


Bayern are coming off of a loss on penalties in the DFL-Supercup to Wolfsburg that was quite humbling. But I can’t gloat, because their best success preseason was beating Inter 1-0, and I will always take my hat off to a team that does that. Similarly, we beat Inter 1-0, and lost on penalties to fellow Audi Cup participants, Real Madrid. But if you think the playing field is level, you are sorely mistaken. We may have a Cerci and a Matri and a Bertolacci who lack a certain amount of character, but Bayern just signed Arturo Vidal. Yeah, that Vidal, whose recent accident, police officer assault, and DUI conviction was conveniently set aside so he could help his country win the Copa America. So I am not looking forward to seeing his whining, flopping, yelling, criminal face or whatever horrible hairstyle he has chosen today.

I've heard of reducing squad size, but these team busses take it to the extreme

The bottom line is, I don’t rate our chances very high, despite Bayern’s poor form and our growing form. They have home field advantage, and that usually includes the Allianz Arena being lit up red. Not red and black, Bayern red. So they will have 12th man advantage as well as their team being able to be recognized from space. That’s gonna be hard to manage, even if Guardiola seems to be out-Allegrifying even Allegri with this club now. But before we play, we’ll know who will be waiting in either the final or the third place match, so I’m going to be focused on simply not finishing fourth. President Berlusconi recently said that a realist is simply an optimist who is well-informed. And while I am not as familiar with the opponents in this tournament as our league opponents, I do know enough to know when our opponents have more quality in their squad, home field advantage, and a stadium that glows red. Still, I do hold out a glimmer of hope that we’ll lead them like Lahms to the slaughter.

This post inspired by the music of Camouflage


Audi Cup
Bayern Munich vs. AC Milan
Tuesday, August 4 • 20:45 CEST (2:45pm EDT)
This match will be shown on ESPN2 in the U.S.


Tomorrow’s matches will be:

3rd Place match • AC Milan vs. Tottenham Spurs • 18:15 CEST (12:15pm EDT)

Final match • Bayern Munich vs. Real Madrid • 20:45 CEST (2:45pm EDT)