This Is Not Your Pedophile’s Milan



If I had a nickel for every journalist, opposition fan, or especially Milan fan that talks about Milan changing coaches again, or financial problems, or whatever, I could afford to buy all of the news outlets and hire some respectable people to report the actual truth. Or maybe at least fire the idiots that keep giving Silvio and Yellow Tie’s comments any air time. Their comments only add to the pile of lies that are being perpetuated. People have some random disconnect between the Glory Days of Milan and now, as if Silvio still owned the club. In fact, he seems to think he does, too. But this is NOT your pedophile’s Milan.

Shut up and take it, Silvio

People, especially Silvio, seem to have forgotten some very basic facts:

1) Silvio is a convicted sex offender, let’s just put that out there
Berlusconi was convicted of having sex with a minor, one of many, many, many, many other criminal charges against him, most of which he ran into the ground with expensive lawyers and the statute of limitations. Galliani was also guilty of Article 6 violations during Calciopoli, which cost Milan points deductions in 2005-06 and 2006-07, amongst other charges. They are both criminals.

2) Berlusconi and Galliani ran Milan into the ground because they couldn’t keep up with the changes in football, including FFP
From the day Berlusconi bought Milan to use as a political platform, he invested heavily during campaigns and ignored the club when he was not running. Galliani spent the money gleefully but often unwisely, paying his friends way too much for players, amongst other things. His infamous “free” transfers were anything but free, costing the club massively in agent fees and long-term contracts with exorbitant and unsustainable wages. The reason Milan “had” to sell Ibrahimovic and Thiago Silva in 2012 wasn’t because Berlusconi was no longer investing money, it was because Galliani had signed players to contracts we couldn’t afford.

"I work alone... wait, where did everyone go?"

Worse still, as Galliani carefully pushed everyone else out of the club beneath him so he could control everything, he overlooked one tiny little area of the club: income. Milan’s income stopped growing years ago because Berlusconi and Galliani couldn’t stop bragging about themselves long enough to see that football was changing. Or do their actual jobs. Not just the reality checks of FFP, but costs were growing, and Milan’s income was not. That is one of the biggest reason’s that Berlusconi needed to sell the club.

3) Silvio sold Milan to a fraud, who defaulted on his loan, resulting in three ownership changes in less than two years
So everyone knows that Berlusconi sold the club to Yonghong Li. And in the true Italian way, the man is finally being investigated after defaulting on his hedge fund loan, which was supposed to have been investigated up front. I expect them to figure it all out in about 30 years. Meanwhile, UEFA punished Milan because of the risk of falling into the hands of a hedge fund, while finally brokering a deal with said hedge fund this year to wipe our FFP slate clean so the club could even function.

From the pedophile to the charlatan to... well almost to bankruptcy

This brings us to today, when Milan is owned by the Elliott Fund, which has owned the club now for 15 months. The original person they named as Director of Football was Leonardo, who left like a toddler that didn’t get his sippy cup when they wouldn’t give him autonomy. Now that position belongs to club legend Paolo Maldini, who, along with fellow Milan legend Zvonimir Boban, has been running the club for a total of four months. Four months.

So when people talk about changing coaches again or another failed mercato or players that are not living up to their potential, or whatever idiotic conversations you people are having, remember that it has been four months. These people are not responsible for all of the many failures of the club under the Pedophile and Uncle Fester. These people did not sell the club to a charlatan, nor did they hire the circus duo of Fassone and Mirabelli to just throw money around without a comprehensive long-term plan for our team. They did not burn through eight coaches in five years.

This is Milan. Now. And future.

What this new management have done is lower the wage bill by a whopping €25million in one transfer window. They cut the fat and lowered the squad size. They brought in younger, more talented players, and signed them all to low wage contracts. They have an actual plan to rebuild this team, they told us it would take patience, but they are sticking to it. They are working closely with Inter to build a stadium, and have gotten farther along than even Barbara did before Daddy cut off the money supply to build. This infant, four-month-old management has done more in four months than Galliani did in his last ten years to improve the team and make it sustainable. They negotiated with UEFA to clean up the FFP messes of past years, and are carefully moving forward on every level to rebuild a Milan team that is both successful and sustainable. But it will take time.

As for the coaching situation, after Gattuso left on his own terms, they took a chance on Giampaolo, a gamble that didn’t work out. So they hired Pioli, which is a sound decision for all concerned. Particularly when considering their project, the available coaches, and FFP limitations. So they made one mistake. But the same people who think it’s the end of the world that Milan changed coaches, after freaking out they did not fire Giampaolo sooner, are the same people who believed Giampaolo was the second coming of Sacchi. I think you people may need therapy, none of that even makes any kind of sense.

Not criminals. Not pedophiles. Not to blame for Milan's past.

People have some seriously short-term and selective memories. None so much as the pedophile, Silvio Berlusconi, who forgets that without Elliott’s intervention, Milan would have been bankrupt and gone to Serie D because he sold the club to a charlatan. He even went so far as to claim that Milan would only be successful if they handed the club back to him. He forgets that Milan’s Glory Days were bought, something that can’t even be done anymore (as if he’d spend a dime, anyway.) He forgets that he destroyed the club for nearly as long as he bought that success. Because he and Fester never realized that football has changed, and they are both living in their sad, delusional little world. A world some of you people seem to live in, too. Everyone needs to wake up and see that this is not your pedophile’s Milan.


This post inspired by the music of Alanis Morrissette’ “You Oughta Know”


Our next match is
Serie A Week 8
Milan vs. Lecce
Sunday, October 20 • 20:45 CEST (2:45pm EDT)

This Is Not Your Pedophile’s Milan This Is Not Your Pedophile’s Milan Reviewed by Elaine on 1:39 AM Rating: 5
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