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Transfer Hell



While we wait two more weeks for UEFA’s sentencing of Milan for FFP violations, Milan have put their mercato completely on hold. I can’t blame them, we have no idea if we will be playing in the Europa League or not. Or what kind of fines we may have to pay. Or if we will have a restriction on the number of players to be able to play in Europe. Or anything, really. So we wait, which seems like hell. But if you think about it, Milan have seen worse in recent years. Players who for some inexplicable reason wore the Milan jersey. Five of the past six years have been a proverbial transfer hell.

We've seen so much worse

For today, I randomly chose a few players who are both gone and most likely forgotten. Not the memorable transfer failures like Matri and Destro and Cerci, but the type of player that probably should not have ever even owned a replica Milan jersey. By remembering them today, it will help us remember that whatever we think about the players purchased by the club last summer, Milan have had it so much worse in recent years. Remembering their names should help us be grateful for even the worst Mirabelli purchases.

Valter Birsa – the Slovenian Messi scored two goals for Milan in his memorable 15 appearances in the red and black.

Mattias Silvestre – the big center back was on loan to Milan for the 2014-15 season, making four impressive appearances and even scoring a goal in a Milan loss to Parma.

Who could forget?

Jherson Vergara – the forever on loan center back may actually still be on our books, I am not sure. After lots of hype by Signor Galliani, he has made a whopping zero appearances for the club since 2013.

Ferdinando Coppola – Who? This backup keeper actually did three stints at Milan, his most recent being during the 2013-14 season. In all three separate tours of duty, he made zero appearances. Is it any wonder he is so easy to forget?

Marco Van Ginkel – on loan from Chelsea for the 2014-15, the midfielder scored one goal in 17 appearances for Milan.

Ironically, none of these people are at the club anymore

Salvatore Bocchetti – the memorable center back was on loan during the second half of the 2014-15 season, where he made an impressive nine appearances.

Didac Vila – with one appearance in his four years on Milan’s book, he spent more time on loan and is also the reason I know what pubalgia means.

Bojan Krkic – Remember when Bojan wore the Milan jersey? The much hyped Barcelona youth product did actually play 19 times for Milan during the 2012-13 season, and scored three goals.

Does anyone really miss Bojan?

So when Kalinic refuses to leave and continues to do everything but score, or Andre Silva leaves despite being one of our most expensive signings with so much wasted potential, remember that not that long ago, it was much, much worse. And at least we will probably know who our current players are in five years, regardless of where they are playing. We have it so much better now, even while awaiting UEFA sanctions. Be grateful for a completely different kind of transfer hell.


This post inspired by the music of Ella Fitzgerald’s “Remember”