My Dream Interview with Super Pippo

Last night I had a dream that I had an opportunity to interview Milan striker Filippo Inzaghi. Below is the transcript of that dream….

Me: Thank you for speaking with me, it is such a pleasure to be able to meet a player of your talents and accomplishments. I have a few  questions I have always wanted to ask you. First, your nicknames, Pippo and Super Pippo… are they simply the diminuitive forms of your given name, or were they based on your resemblance to the Disney character?

Pippo: (laughing) I always thought it was from Filippo, but now that you mention it, maybe there is a slight resemblance…

Me: You have the distinction of playing longer than your little brother, Simone, who is already retired. What is that like?

Pippo: Well, of course I am the big brother. I will always be better than him. But truly, he did have a great career. And when I was injured this year, I thought briefly that he might be the more clever one. But now I am happy to have one more year with Milan.

Me: You have a certain reputation with the ladies, do you think about settling down?

Pippo: Many people have charities and causes to help the underprivileged and neglected. I realized early on that there really aren’t people looking after the spectacularly beautiful women, so I took it upon myself to offer companionship to as many of these women as possible. It truly is a rewarding cause.

Me: On the pitch, your name is synonymous with “offside.” How is your relationship with the linesmen and match officials?

Pippo: Sometimes they are too quick to judge, given my history. But they are all just doing their job. And if I can give the linesmen’s arms some exercise, then I will always run quickly, even if I am getting older.

Me: And what do you think about being called a poacher?

Pippo: It is an honor to be called this. It implies that I am doing something illegal, and yet I am not. It also confirms that I am scoring goals, as one cannot be a poacher without scoring. It is always good to be called this.

Me: And what do you think your teammates think of this practice?

Pippo: They are always happy when a goal is scored, there is no time to be selfish or petty when there is a game to be won. We are always happy for anyone who finds the back of the net.

Me: What do you think of Ibra? Some call him a poor teammate and complain that he screams too much. Do you get along?

Pippo: I think we might be long lost brothers. When Allegri let me play, we played really well together, and he and I have compatible personalities. We both really want to win. I am very sad not to have played more with him this season and I hope to be able to play many games together this next season.

Me: Speaking of Allegri, he did not play you very much until right before you were injured. Do you resent that?

Pippo: No. Of course I wanted to play. But the mister was still learning Milan and it takes time to find trust in every player. He was still finding his formation and looking for pairings.

Me: So do you think you’ve earned his trust now? And will he play you more this year?

Pippo: He will make decisions for the good of the team. But we have spoken before I renewed my contract and he was impressed with my determination and desire to still play and win things, so I think he trusts me more now.

Me: Everyone is speaking of this Mr. X. Do you have any news about this mystery transfer target?

Pippo: No, but with or without him, there is a strong desire to win the Champions League next year.

Me: Do you think this is realistic, to win another big trophy?

Pippo: I am near the end of my career, I don’t have time to be realistic. I want my European scoring record back, and I want to win another Champions League trophy. It has never occurred to me to be realistic about this dream….

This dream occurred under the musical inspiration of The Cure’s “Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me” album.