Ever since this Halloween Derby fixture was announced, I knew exactly what I was going to be for Halloween this year: a Snake Exterminator. Little did I know that half my team were going to be partying in the Milan Lab as zombies, or that surviving the schedule surrounding this match would be like trying to escape a monster in a horror film. But then again, every time we have to face Inter is kind of like a horror movie, so not really off the mark. And even if the two teams pretended to be cugini on Thursday with the unveiling of the plans for the new stadium, if all is fair in love and war, then there are no holds barred for the Derby della Madonnina. The pitch may start as a football match, but it will end as a Dead Man's Party.
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| Let's get this party started with our newest renewal. |
Inter and the AIA (Italian Referees Association) have still teamed up to perch themselves at the top of the table, if only by the thinnest of goal differentials ahead of Gattuso's Lazio. Together with the referees, they have eight wins and a draw, which is impressive, given that Marotta's favorite pet, Gianluca Rocchi, had all charges against him dismissed, was able to retire from the AIA and was given a cushy job at DAZN. I don't get the impression that the new head of referees, Daniele Orsato, is nearly as corrupt, but give him time. Plus, there are all the referees themselves, who are the ones who get the job done anyway.
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| It's honestly frightening that Chivu received absolutely no punishment for this. |
You can say that I'm just being a rival fan here, but in addition to the recordings that directly linked Rocchi and his refs to Inter that were just ignored (like as good or better evidence than some during Calciopoli,) there is actual data to back up the idea of Inter being favored by referees. This season, for example, they have only won one of their three Champions League matches, and were already awarded a red card. That's one more red card than they had all last season in Serie A–38 matches. And that has held true for over 5 years now, they are four times more likely to be shown a red card in the Champions Leaague than in Serie A. But with that many years of data, I'm sure it's just a coincidence, right? We could also talk about how many red cards their players earn on international duty vs. in Serie A, but we are here to talk about the Derby.
Chivu's Inter won their match on Wednesday 2-0 over Venezia courtesy of two own goals. Because taking credit for other people's work is their specialty (cough Paper Scudetto cough) For that match, the manager who considers himself the team's own 12th man lined up a 3-5-2 with: Provedel; Bisseck, Bastoni the Reprehensible™, Carlos Augusto; Diouf, Sučić, Aleksander Stanković, Zielenski; Bonny, and Marcus the Molester™ Thuram. The once-a-cheater-always-a-cheater manager will be missing five players of his own to injury: Pavard, Curtis Jones, Luis Henrique, John Stones, and Lautaro Martínez.
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| Let's let Amorim go as a Derby winning manager for Halloween, please. |
In addition to battling the entire toxic Italian media and some seriously xenophobic/racist fans in Italy (plus some seriously mercuruial Manchester United fans,) Amorim is also managing a now constant stream of injured players. The latest to hit the table is Tomori, who suffered a thigh injury in the loss to Bologna on Wednesday. However, one down, and three back: Rabiot, Moreira, and Gila all trained with the team on Friday and will be available for the Derby, which is fantastic news. And also in good news. Pulisic renewed his contract on Friday, which means he should be ready to score at least one more goal in another Derby.
That only leaves Saelemaekers, Gabbia, Pietro Terracciano, Chukwueze, Loftus-Cheek, and Tomori who will be missing on Thursday to injuries. Which may mean more of our Futuro players get to stay home and rest for their match away to Virtus Verona on Sunday. Also, that even if they sit on the bench for the first team Saturday night, they could still possibly play for Futuro on Sunday afternoon,which they could really use. I have no idea how or who Amorim will lineup on Saturday night, but there are speculations.
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| Mike knows how to deal with snakes. |
Milan are undefeated in their last seven Derbies vs. Inter in all competitions. Plus the friendly this summer in Australia, which ended 1-1. I am happy to extend that streak as long as humanly possible, even if we are also up against the entire ref team as well. We won in March from an Estupiñan goal, I just want to believe, that in one area of life, good can continue to triumph over evil. Plus, Amorim and the team need this boost as part of their redemption arc after this past ten days or so, as well the boost it will give them for these last couple of matches ahead of the international break.
In case I've never made it clear before, I hate Inter. They can burn in hell and I will roast marshmallows over their memory while laughing my most evil laugh and wishing them further harm. This is beyond a friendly, family rivalry for me. Inter have lied and cheated and then cried about it for the decades. It's not that they live rent free or anything, I just don't like people who lie, cheat, steal, and take credit for other people's work, much less take down an entire league to benefit theemselves. And I will never forgive them for that. So, despite having zombies for players and a monster for an owner, I will never be okay with anything besides a win in our Halloween Derby, our Dead Man's Party.
Saturday, October 31 • 20:45 CET (3:45pm EDT)*
Virtus Verona vs. Milan Futuro
Sunday, November 1 • 14:30 CET (8:30am EST)
Milan Futuro vs. Piacenza
Wednesday, November 4 • 14:30 CET (8:30am EST)
Reviewed by Elaine
on
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