Thursday, September 15, 2011

Guest Post: Avia’s Belated Idiot’s Guide to the New Season

In case you are living under a rock and missed Jovan's Milan Season Preview, my friend Avia of the AC Milan Offside fame has offered to catch you up to speed with the contenders before week 3 gets underway...

"Hey, Leo! Smell my finger!"

Milan: A coach who is now building on last year’s project with new additions for the backline with a genuine LB in the shape of Taiwo and decent CB back up in the mould of Mexes adding to an otherwise decent defence. The midfield sees the addition of Nocerino & Aquaman providing steel & flair respectively whilst the departure of Pirlo will be seen as a loss but one that can be easily covered considering that we have seen the best out of him. The players already have a belief in the coach & his system with the new additions coming on board quickly so we are rightly considered favourites for the scudetto but need to make sure we aren’t distracted by the CL, which is realistically a work in progress


Merda: This is an easy one, Gasp will at best struggle to implement his favoured 3-4-3 straight away and he will have to change to a new formation by xmas if he can’t make it work, according to Count Moratti. Which begs the question as to why Gasp was hired when all of Italy knows he uses a 3-4-3? I harbour doubts as to whether Gasp was even hired as a long-term prospect as I feel his appointment smacks of more of a stop-gap measure. If forced to change formation, I have to wonder if it will suit his players more than it will Gasp and bearing in mind that they have lost  Eto’o it would be kind easy to discount them from this year’s scudetto race due to these question marks but with the likes of Sneidjer, Pazzini, Milito I find it hard to say they aren’t still contenders, damn!


"New teammates? I don't see any new teammates!"

Totti, ahem, I mean Roma: A new coach & players and a brand new project, could be exciting to watch considering the additions of Bojan & Lamela and wow a Barca coach to underpin it all, but we all know how this may turn out in the end if one particular player doesn’t get on board. Yes, Prince Totti has already spat his dummy out after the indignation of have to put bum to pine once this season already but bearing in mind that the club & management have come out in vigorous support of Luis Enrique one has to wonder if this will simply play into the hands of Totti, who you can guarantee will simply use this as an opportunity to play the martyr even more. More than likely the team will fracture into factions so not realistic contenders but I predict that it will be more fun to watch the circus in the background than the actual football on display, I know I’ve enjoyed the show so far!

Juve: the other side of the Roma coin. Here is a club with new stadia, new coach, new players & new project. With the additions of Vucinic, Vidal & fan favourite Pirlo they arguably could make this work. You will find a lot of change can also have a galvanising affect as there will be a mentality of “we are all in this together” and if Conte is smart enough to use this to gel his team together he may be able to weather any storm his lack of coaching experience may sail into. Should be a safe bet for a CL spot at least.

Mazzari catches sight of De Laurentiis astride a moped in a mankini!

Napoli: arguably the most dangerous of the new contenders having added Inler and continued on from last years project and appear to have held onto their momentum. They have been smart enough not to lose the talent that helped them in the best run they have had in a decade, unlike Udini, and have genuinely consolidated. Have been in contention for the scudetto for large parts of the last season they will no doubt feel that they can trouble any team in Serie A as well as having a crack in the CL. Although I wish them well in the CL, I fear they may leave the party early only to gate crash every other teams’ party plans for Serie A!


Thanks again to Avia for sharing his clever insights with us!